I thought I should take a moment to address a few emails I’ve received, along the lines of “stop complaining” or “you picked the wrong degree, suck it up.”
For what it’s worth, I’m no longer poor, and I no longer live with my mother. I have zero debt. I now make six figures as a software consultant and I have a six-figure bank balance. And I’ve been happily living abroad and traveling the world for more than three years (I’m working in Europe at the moment). So no, I’m not sour grapes. No, I’m not a failure. I made a catastrophically bad decision, but I eventually dusted myself off and found a better path.
Yet I still maintain and post to this blog – why? Because the purpose of this site is not to voice petty personal complaints (of which I have few these days) – it’s to highlight a wider cultural phenomenon which continues to threaten the economic future, not to mention the mental health, of a generation of Americans. Tuitions are still rising rapidly and millions of students every year take out massive loans that they probably won’t be able to pay back. Some remain saddled with debt for decades, never able to attain the proper independence that every adult craves. I think no greater blow can be dealt to one’s self-esteem than to invest many years of one’s life in something, only to find that it never pays off. This needs to be talked about, as much as when I launched this site. It needs to be shouted from the rooftops: look before you leap!
If all you see in this site is personal gripes, then you need to look a bit harder, because this is far bigger than me. This site is here to help you, your peers, your children, avoid making a terrible decision that could haunt you for the rest of your lives. It is a chronicle of mistakes and bad judgment calls made by me and by others like me; it is, hopefully, a collection of examples of what not to do if you want to be a success. Take my advice or leave it, but rest assured, this site isn’t about me – it’s about what’s happening in American private education.
The Ivy Lie 
Truthfully, the most embarrassing thing about this is that you didn’t go to an Ivy League at all yet you are criticizing them.
When people hear of “Duke”, they know it’s a good school, but it’s not nearly as impressive as Ivy League or MIT (one of which you should’ve chosen instead).
Who are these people who care to read this for the sole purpose of criticism? If you also attended an Ivy League school but don’t have the same problem, then you should also be educated enough to have learned an ounce of perspectivism and if you didn’t then you missed the entire point. And for everyone else who finds reason to criticize in such a shallow manner to say ‘stop complaining’, or to express some thinly veiled sense of superiority: Why are you here if you don’t relate to the posts? Do you still buy into the notion that an Ivy league school is anything more than just a school? Do you have the common sense and humanity to read about something you haven’t personally experienced and just move on?
Actually, Duke is generally ranked better than half of the eight actual Ivies (Dartmouth, Cornell, Brown, and often UPenn). When I matriculated in 2002, it was tied for 4th nationally, alongside Stanford and MIT.
And I don’t agree that an Ivy (or MIT) would have been a better choice. I’m actually quite happy with my personal and economic situation presently, but my current success is thanks to a public-school education… and a lot of hard work.
But you’re right, I didn’t attend any of the true Ivies… so why do I use this terminology? And who do I think I am, daring to critique them?
First, when I reference the Ivies and their flaws, I’m not talking exclusively about them. Much of what is said on this blog could apply to any private school, and certainly the shortcomings of private education would be even more pronounced at a less prestigious (but potentially equally expensive) private university. In my mind, this is more a debate of public vs. private than it is Ivy vs. non-Ivy. Apologies if that isn’t the tone that comes through.
Second, I have family history at a couple of Ivies. Both my father and grandfather attended Yale, and my father also studied at Columbia. I spent a summer at Princeton myself – so it’s not as though I know nothing at all of the actual Ivies. At least in my dad’s case, I can’t see that it did him much good. Like me, he eventually abandoned his undergraduate degree (in his case, in philosophy) to pursue law. He went on to become a successful small-town lawyer, but his law degree came from the University of Utah – a public school. And my grandfather’s first job after graduating from Yale (during the Great Depression, mind you) was pumping gas at a local Exxon station. He eventually went on to become an executive at Exxon by working his way up the corporate ladder, and much like me, spent years working abroad, but I struggle to see the relevance of his alma mater in that process. It seems to me that it was diligence and persistence that brought him success, not the prestige of his degree.
Lastly, I agree that Duke doesn’t arouse the same sense of awe that names like Harvard do. But I’d also argue that this sense of respect is misplaced. The reverence that people hold for these schools is based on perceptions which aren’t supported by the reality of what the universities offer. Have I attended Harvard personally? No, but there’s a wealth of stories from others to corroborate the message that all is not as it seems where the reputation of private universities is concerned. And one doesn’t need to attend every school in a general body of schools to comment on a phenomenon which broadly affects them all.
If you’ve attended one of said universities, then by all means share your experience. I don’t claim to be right, but I do claim not to be alone in thinking that my “top-tier” experience was far less than it should have been… and in believing that a decent education can be obtained for far less personal sacrifice than a private degree often requires.
I attended MIT, yes, the biggest ‘awe’ school there is and I know MANY people who are struggling with finding decent work afterwards. Thank you Clayton for maintaing this blog.