In a few weeks, I’ll be setting foot on campus at Princeton as a freshman. Luckily, with financial aid and scholarships, my education turns out to be more than free, so I’m not overly worried about the prospect of undergraduate debt. However, I would still like, when I graduate, to be marketable to some extent so I don’t have to incur mountains of graduate debt. What advice do you have for someone in my situation? What would you have done differently?
My response:
Thanks for writing, and congrats on the scholarships. You’ve dodged a major financial bullet and one of the most compelling reasons not to attend a private school.
Some of the advice I would offer depends on what you study and what you choose to pursue as a career. It depends also on what you’re looking for in a college experience, and what you want your life to look like afterward. But I can at least make some general suggestions, based on what I like to think is 20/20 hindsight.
1. Remember that, for all its fame, Princeton is still just a school – nothing more, nothing less. Whatever your experience ends up being, remember that it’s only four years, and regardless of what happens, you will have options in the future. If you’re bright enough to get into Princeton, then you’re bright enough to shape your destiny beyond it. So if for whatever reason you find you’re not enjoying the experience, don’t let it get to you. Your life is not over if you don’t get straight A’s, and it does not reflect badly on you if you find the experience less than stellar, or don’t fit in with your peers and professors, or don’t enjoy your coursework. I took college far too seriously, and wound up totally burned out and miserable by the end. The intense classes, the competitive students, the blood, sweat, and tears that went into getting my diploma – they just weren’t worth Ultimately, I ended up hating the classroom and resenting formal education in general, which is really not a healthy perspective to have.
2. Don’t let it go to your head. An Ivy League diploma doesn’t entitle you to anything, so stay humble and remember that the world is much bigger than the Princeton campus. In the course of my studies, both at Duke and in my precollege courses with Stanford, I developed a fair amount of ego, and was flabbergasted when I couldn’t find a job after graduating. I got dealt a heavy dose of humility all at once, and found myself face to face with a reality totally unlike the one I had been raised with.
3. Try to socialize with locals as well as students – you’ll gain a much broader perspective than if you just stay on campus. I would also recommend getting a job sooner rather than later, especially if you haven’t worked previously. It builds character, not to mention a healthy sense of discipline, and it’s good for developing social skills as well. It also exposes you to realities of adulthood that you simply won’t find in a classroom. My most fulfilling and productive semester at Duke was, ironically enough, the semester I took off, when I opted to work full-time instead of taking classes, and I ended up getting published in the process. I can’t stress enough the value of hands-on work experience.
4. Don’t obsess over your grades. Don’t dawdle, either, but don’t let your classes dominate your life. This may not be much an issue, given that Princeton, like many Ivies, is famous for grade inflation, but I imagine the difficulty of the courses will vary considerably depending on what you study. At Duke, virtually all of the science classes were graded on a curve with the average set at a B-, which meant only about 10% of the students in any course would get an A. I was pre-med, and I feared for my grades. I thought a poor GPA meant guaranteed failure in the future. But in hindsight, it was all just a game: fighting to compete amongst my obsessive-compulsive peers and the stern, unforgiving professors, with their almost sadistically difficult exams, written as if their sole purpose was to torture us with their 55% averages – it meant nothing to anyone in the workplace. The entire time, I felt as if I were fighting for my life, but it turned out I wasn’t fighting for anything. In the professional world, no one cares about your grades, simple as that. And in spite of graduating with a good GPA (precisely the thing I spent four years fighting so hard for), I ultimately decided not to go to med school because I was worn out and I couldn’t stomach the idea of another 10 years of the same cutthroat routine. All in all, I failed to see the bigger picture, chiefly because I was raised in a closed and very academic environment, where everything was focused on the importance of grades. I was taught that those who study hard are destined for success, and it wasn’t until after I graduated that I realized the professional world just doesn’t function that way. The college environment is myopic, so do whatever you can to ensure that you gain exposure to realities of the outside world before you graduate and are forced into it… Otherwise, it may be an abrupt and unpleasant transition from the sheltered campus environment.
5. Take a variety of classes, particularly early on; try to find subjects that interest you, and don’t be afraid to explore courses that you aren’t familiar with. I don’t know how flexible Princeton’s graduation requirements are, but I would make a concerted effort to find something that you enjoy and find fulfillment in. Don’t jump into a major too soon, and don’t force yourself to continue studying something that you don’t like. I followed my father’s advice and stuck to the pre-med track in spite of not liking it, and it backfired, so I don’t recommend following in my footsteps. Having said all that, try to be pragmatic and keep your professional future in mind. Beware of devoting yourself to a major which may leave without any practical skills when you graduate. In general, employers care far more about what you can accomplish on the job than what you studied… So be direct with your academic/career advisors: ask them what sorts of job prospects are available for the major(s) you’re considering, and don’t settle for mealy-mouthed answers.
6. Don’t expect too much of the university. This was one of the greatest sources of disappointment for me – I thought it would be an enthralling experience; I imagined I would spend my days engrossed in riveting coursework, and my weekends lost in scintillating conversation with the great minds of tomorrow, pursuing my dreams, and carving a path to a successful and prosperous future. But in the end, it wasn’t a tenth as dramatic as any of that, and I didn’t find what I was looking for, either. Instead, I’m only really discovering myself now, as a free and independent professional, over a decade after enrolling at Duke, and no thanks to my college experience. This tale of disappointment is one I’ve heard repeatedly from graduates of other top-tier schools (Ivies included), who were startled at just how “average” their universities turned out to be once they were actually studying there. If you go in with moderate expectations, you’re less likely to be disappointed.
I wish you the best of luck with your studies and your future, and I hope you can profit from these suggestions. I sincerely hope you have a positive and worthwhile experience at Princeton, but if you don’t, remember there are plenty of alternatives.
Cheers,
Clayton
The Ivy Lie 
Leave a Reply