For me, the only thing worse than the feeling that my “top-10” diploma is completely useless is the fact that I can’t convey why I feel this way to people I meet on the street. The reality is that very few people go to private schools, let alone top-tier universities that require vast personal sacrifices of time, money, and effort. And consequently, there are very few people who can appreciate just how significant these sacrifices are, let alone relate to the frustration of a recent grad who just sank $200K and four years of his life (actually, closer to eight years if you include all the pre-college preparatory work that most Ivy League applicants pursue) into his education. They simply don’t get it, and how could they? It’s not their fault for being a part of “normal” society – it’s our fault for having bothered with any of this “elite schooling” BS from the start.
The other thing that’s frustrating is the embarrassment of admitting that you’re unemployed with an Ivy League degree. A lot of folks still believe that if they could get a degree from Harvard or Stanford, they’d have the world by the balls. To a lot of the general public, an Ivy League diploma is like solid gold – and if you have one but still can’t find a job, well, there must be something really wrong with you. They think you’re a crybaby and a loser, someone who couldn’t cut it in spite of having endless advantages. And it’s quite hard to explain the reality of the situation at times, especially if you’re face to face with a 23-year-old who’s making six figures without even having gone to college (true story).
Sigh… Let me reiterate to all you would-be or soon-to-be Ivy Leaguers: post-college life is a good bit lonelier than it would be if you attend a state school. Unless you choose to work as a professor or do some other work on the campus of your alma mater, be prepared to be surrounded by folks who have no understanding of your experiences and no ability to empathize, even if they’d like to.
The Ivy Lie 
the idea that one is really lonely after graduating from U of Whatever is brilliant! I know that whoever you connected with from youth..streets, country-clubs, train passengers, taxi drivers, air line seatmates, graduate students( ho wlucky are u)
travel-souls and all the relatives of yours; good & bad, are the real deal
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Write more, thats all I have to say. Literally, it seems as
though you relied on the video to make your point.
You clearly know what youre talking about, why waste your intelligence on just posting
videos to your blog when you could be giving us something informative
to read?
Video? Sorry, which post were you looking at? I don’t recall posting any videos to the site. As for writing more and providing something informative… thanks for the feedback but I suggest you browse through the other posts on the site. This is one of my earliest posts, when the blog was little more than an unstructured personal rant. I may need to revisit some of these early posts as there’s certainly more to be said on these topics
It’s so nice to read a piece about this subject, from someone who actually empathizes with being in the same position. I’m a two-time loser in this regard. I went to the ivy of the ivies for my undergraduate program, hated it there, but still managed to graduate with honors in four years, and without debt (combination of a merit-based scholarship, which they still offered back when I attended, and a family college trust). I personally found the academics there to be entirely lackluster, and I learned much less in college than I had in high school.
I was lucky to find my way into a decent job shortly after graduation, but it had little to do with my field of study, and honestly, it was a fast-paced career track that I jumped into without really knowing what it would be like, simply to maintain the image of a “hot” career that was worthy of my prestigious piece of shit degree. However, it was way off the beaten track, and it didn’t really offer all that much in terms of stability or long-term financial upside. You’d think I’d have learned my lesson, but after three years of working, I decided to double down on the prestigious education gamble, and I went to an engineering master’s program at the ivy of the west.
There, I found myself burning out completely and massively depressed. I finished the program for sake of completing what I’d started, and I’ve been a walking wounded career zombie ever since. The burnout set in when I was an undergraduate, and the only time I ever actually enjoyed my work was during those first three years out of college, before I “overqualified” myself out of the job market by going back for that masters degree.
But the worst part in all of it is that feeling of alienation. My social life was also a mess, and though I would have liked to have settled down and started a family, it was nowhere in sight. At the age of 34, I dismantled that career, and I’ve been mostly either unemployed or semi-employed in the 15 years ever since. Luckily I used that time well, and after some kicking around that most healthy people do as teens, I met my wife at the age of 41 and settled down quite nicely. We now have two kids, and our family life works well, but we have always had one nagging point of contention.
My wife is very bright, went to a good program in business information systems at her state school, then got recruited by a top accounting/management consulting firm. After a few years she went, on her company’s dime, to a leading MBA program at yet another state school. Her education worked for her. Her career is very functional, whereas mine is a complete mess. When I try to explain how my elite schooling tripped me up, she has zero empathy. She cannot get past the notion that it must have been my own fault, that everyone knows what a given the privilege I had by attending those two schools was, that as names on a resume, they still open doors for me, and that something must be really wrong about me in that regard. Furthermore, she still resents that she applied to my alma mater (if I can call it that) and was rejected. Of course, if she HAD gotten in, she’d have the world by the balls.
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